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“Flying Pigs” in Shanghai decide to go for a swim

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Artists impression of the Huangpu Porcus Volare

According to state sources a flock of more than 2,800 flying pigs decided to go for a swim in the Huangpu river. “Unfortunately the pigs’ ability to fly”, stated Lai Lai a government official, ”is better than their swimming”. The carcasses were found floating in the river creating a foul stench that has made many reporting the story sick in their own mouths.

Official sources have strenuously denied any suggestion of government environmental policy being to blame. ‘Its just one of things. Pig’s like to swim’ said Po Ki Pai, environmental liaison officer for Shanghai.  

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From the Guardian:

The Jiaxing Daily newspaper in northern Zhejiang province quoted a villager as saying that over the past two months almost 20,000 pigs in his village have died of unknown causes. While Shanghai compensates its farmers for properly disposing of dead swine, the newspaper said, Zhejiang and Jiangsu provinces lack a comparable incentive system, so farmers there often dump their pig carcasses directly into local rivers.   

 

The mystery continues…  

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Liu Futang’s case casts shadow on China’s environment commitment

Reblogged from In the loop:

Click to visit the original post

China’s renowned environmental reporter Liu Futang was sentenced to a 3 year probation against the backdrop of the ruling Communist Party’s increasing emphasis on “Ecological Civilisation”.

The veteran environmentalist was found guilty by the local court in South China Hainan Province for “illegal business activities” and fined £1,700 last Wednesday.

The prosecutors claimed Liu had profited illegally from his self-publishing books despite that Liu gave away most of his books for free.

Read more… 353 more words

check out this post from in the loop

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Lil Kim is Sexy and he knows it

The People’s Daily, once referred to as the codpiece (sorry mouthpiece) of the Chinese Communist Party has reported an article in the satirical website the Onion as fact.

The Onion declared Kim Jong Un, or Lil Kim as he is affectionately known as ‘the Sexiest Man Alive in 2012′

The Onion reported:

With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Kim made this newspaper’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile,” it said.

“He has that rare ability to somehow be completely adorable and completely macho at the same time,” said Marissa Blake-Zweiber, editor of The Onion Style and Entertainment.

The fact that the People’s Daily are even bothering to report this sort of tripe, would make Mao turn over in his Maoseleum. In the 1950s TV and radio were known as the ‘throat and tongue’ (houshe 喉舌) of the Chinese Communist Party and they played a key role in disseminating Party policy and propaganda to the far reaching corners of China. In 2012, it seems they are scouring the internet for titbits desperate to gain a market share.

 

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Filed under censorship, comedy, Communist Party, Kim Jong Il, Politics, Propaganda

Obama’s natural advantage (according to Durex)

Durex’s China posted an ad suggesting that the difference between the two US presidential candidates can be boiled down to the measurements of their masculine protrusions. Size does matter.

 

The post was in a microblog on Weibo (chinese Twitter)  

The caption says: ”The difference between Obama and Romney is…”

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silly old me thinking the election was won on the almost $6 billion ad spend… 

 

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Mao Vs Morissette!

How well do you know Alanis? How well do you know Mao?
Pit your skills against the best in the first brushduck quiz:



How did you do?

90-100% Lei Feng
70-80% Khrushchev revisionist
50-60% Guomindang reactionary
30-40% Capitalist roader
10-20% Running dog
0% In the service of the imperialists

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How China flouts its laws

Read Chen Guangcheng’s piece in NY times

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In the land of the blind, the man with one Weetabix is king.

In a brief round up of news from the central kingdom:

- blind Chinese activist Chen Guangcheng might be allowed to go on a ‘gap year’ to the states

Chen had campaigned against forced abortions in his home province of Shandong and had met the brunt of provincial official brutality. Until he knocked on the US door of the US embassy….

- Weetabix are now 60% owned by Chinese company Bright Food.

The Sun have reported that the boss of Bright Food can only manage two Weetabix for breakfast…

either breakfasts in China will start getting better, or breakfast in England will be full of cadmium dihydrophosphodiesterase E4934.

I happen to like Weetabix but a head chef at the Savoy describes them as “cakes that you give to dogs”

Bright Food are also after United Biscuits, which makes Jaffa Cakes and Hula Hoops, and French yoghurt group Yoplait.

What next? Curly Wurlys and petit filous watch out..

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Filed under Advertising, Blogs, Breakfast, comedy

Chinese in Africa (continued)

Good Al Jazeera 20 minute documentary on Chinese immigrants in Senegal.

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Ramen Infographic

Why Ramen is great:
We Love Ramen Infographic
Created by: HackCollege.com

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A tale of murder, fog, beef noodles and the ‘greatest gangster in China’

This story is a Chinese Agatha Christie style murder mystery Cluedo on crack.

The backdrop to this tale of political intrigue is Chongqing, (think Gotham with dumplings)  – an overpopulated, murky, fogged up city run by corrupt gangsters and even more corrupt officials.

Gotham

Chongqing

In November of last year a 41 year old British ‘businessman‘ Neil Heywood was found dead in a hotel room and was swiftly cremated, with the official verdict being that he had drunk himself to death. Only Neil Heywood didn’t drink. Heywood was a Mandarin speaking ex public school (Harrow) businessman, Aston Martin dealer and freelance consultant for ‘intelligence’ agency Hakluyt, who seem to be rapidly distancing themselves from the story.

The death of Mr Heyman is one of the key events in the drama of the downfall of the Communist Party chief in Chongqing, Bo Xilai.

Bo had it all. Just a year ago, he was tipped to be one of the new leaders of China and now his political career is in ruins and his wife is being accused of  murder. Bo was one of the rising stars of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and was lauded for his stints as Mayor in Dalian, Governor of Liaoniang and party chief of Chongqing. However, his stellar career has come crashing down after he was  suspended from the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) after his head of police, Wang Lijun was accused of trying to defect to the US at their consulate in Chengdu. Reports have suggested that Wang discussed the death of Heywood with Bo and suspected foul play.  Then in a frightened state he tried to seek refuge from Mr Bo by defecting to the West.  An article supposedly penned by Wang referred to Bo as the ‘greatest gangster in China’

Bo’s wife, Gu Kailai has been ‘transferred to the judicial authorities’ in relation to death of Mr Heywood. The relationship between Heywood and Bo is not fully clear. It has been reported that he was a ‘fixer’ for Bo’s family and helped his son gain a place at Harrow school in north west London.  Whether the relationship between Bo, Gu and Heywood turned sour or not is unclear.

Bo made a name for himself in Chongqing with his no-nonsense approach to corruption and organized crime. Did he broke a few eggs too many in trying to make his omelette of Chinese power? Over the course of a few months he has gone from hot prospect to hot potato and has been dismissed from the Politburo and is now being investigated for “serious discipline violations”

This is being reported as one of the most significant political upheavals in China for 20 years . The British government have added their approval to the ongoing investigations into Heywood’s death. The reactions on the Chinese blogosphere are also interesting to note. In the censored and monitored world of the Chinese internet Chinese netizens often find their freedom to use language as they please is  suppressed so they invent nicknames for people and events to make sure they can still talk about what is going on. In the internal struggles to remove Bo and Zhou Yongkang from power, bloggers reported the following:

In the 18th tugging war contest (18th National Congress) the “carrot ball” (Hu Jintao) led his team members “antenna baby” (Wen Jiabao), ‘learning machine” (Xi Jinping) and “wood seed” (Li Keqiang) to win against their rivals “Master Kong beef noodle” (Zhou Yongkang) who severely lost the game without support from “Tomato” (Bo Xilai).

The drama continues….

Bo, Gu and Neil

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Filed under Blogs, Bo Xilai, censorship, Communist Party, corruption, Dispute, media, News, Politics, Propaganda