Category Archives: Uncategorized

“Flying Pigs” in Shanghai decide to go for a swim

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Artists impression of the Huangpu Porcus Volare

According to state sources a flock of more than 2,800 flying pigs decided to go for a swim in the Huangpu river. “Unfortunately the pigs’ ability to fly”, stated Lai Lai a government official, ”is better than their swimming”. The carcasses were found floating in the river creating a foul stench that has made many reporting the story sick in their own mouths.

Official sources have strenuously denied any suggestion of government environmental policy being to blame. ‘Its just one of things. Pig’s like to swim’ said Po Ki Pai, environmental liaison officer for Shanghai.  

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From the Guardian:

The Jiaxing Daily newspaper in northern Zhejiang province quoted a villager as saying that over the past two months almost 20,000 pigs in his village have died of unknown causes. While Shanghai compensates its farmers for properly disposing of dead swine, the newspaper said, Zhejiang and Jiangsu provinces lack a comparable incentive system, so farmers there often dump their pig carcasses directly into local rivers.   

 

The mystery continues…  

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Liu Futang’s case casts shadow on China’s environment commitment

Reblogged from In the loop:

Click to visit the original post

China’s renowned environmental reporter Liu Futang was sentenced to a 3 year probation against the backdrop of the ruling Communist Party’s increasing emphasis on “Ecological Civilisation”.

The veteran environmentalist was found guilty by the local court in South China Hainan Province for “illegal business activities” and fined £1,700 last Wednesday.

The prosecutors claimed Liu had profited illegally from his self-publishing books despite that Liu gave away most of his books for free.

Read more… 353 more words

check out this post from in the loop

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Obama’s natural advantage (according to Durex)

Durex’s China posted an ad suggesting that the difference between the two US presidential candidates can be boiled down to the measurements of their masculine protrusions. Size does matter.

 

The post was in a microblog on Weibo (chinese Twitter)  

The caption says: ”The difference between Obama and Romney is…”

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silly old me thinking the election was won on the almost $6 billion ad spend… 

 

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How China flouts its laws

Read Chen Guangcheng’s piece in NY times

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Stop Tony 2012

Tony 2012

Tony is one of the world’s worst war criminals and I support the international effort to arrest him.

On 2 May 1997, millions of disillusioned middle class parents were taken in by his charming smile and persuaded to join him on his series of religious wars/crusades.

Who is Tony?

Tony is one of the world’s worst war criminals. In 1994 he took over leadership of an existing marginalised rebel group (Labour) and renamed it the New Labour (NL).

The NL has earned a reputation for its cruel and brutal tactics. When Tony found himself running out of members of his own cabinet, he started abducting non elected officials to be ‘advisers’ in his army or “gurus” for his officers.

Guru

The NL were encouraged to take over media, spend money on flat screen TVs, and deceive civilians–often with fake dossiers.

The NL is no longer active in northern Westminster but it continues its campaign of deception in Western Wales, the Central Republic of Stockton on Tees, and the People’s Republic of South Sunderland. In its 18-year history, the NL has abandoned more than 50,000 children and displaced at least 2.1 million people.

What is the goal of TONY 2012?

Invisible Classwar has been working for 9 years to end the UK’s longest-running unarmed conflict. U.S. military advisers are currently deployed in Central London on a “time-limited” mission to stop Tony and disarm the NL. If Tony isn’t captured this year, the window will be gone.

Sign the pledge to help us bring Tony to justice in 2012.

please watch the video. Get the bracelets, retweet this post. Get it on facebook, Bebo, Myspace, CBeebies, the lot.

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Filed under Africa, army, Blogs, censorship, comedy, Politics, Propaganda, TV, Uncategorized

‘Angry birds’ attack Apple store in Beijing

According to the telegraph: An angry mob pelted the flagship Apple store with eggs in Beijing’s Sanlitun area. In a strategy reminiscent of the popular game ‘Angry Birds’ the crowd attacked the store demonstrating their irritation at the fact that the store was sold out of the new Iphone 4s.

 

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9 out of 10 bees prefer men

According to a new survey carried out in China.

Heaviest bee suit world record – in pictures | World news | guardian.co.uk.

In true western reporting of China. Another wacky story.

To the undiscerning reader it might appear that China only has two types of stories: Human Rights abuses or men covering themselves in bees. Perhaps this is a mixture of the two stories. . . .

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Bubble tea in London – Time Out London

Time Out offer a good guide on where to get a decent bubble tea. I think I might have to compare them all myself to make sure they were telling truths…

 

 

Bubble tea in London – Time Out London.

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Grass Mud Horse who lives in the Mahler desert and fights evil river crabs

So to those of you who don’t know. There is a hell a lot of  internet slang in China.

Perhaps the best known is that of the ‘Grass Mud Horse who lives in the Ma Le Desert who fight the evil river crabs’

This is all old news for those in the china blogosphere but as brushduck is a spring chicken – it is still a breaking story.

To those of you who don’t get chinese puns – the above fun sounding animal story is in fact Chinese internet language telling the internet censors of China to fuck off.

草泥马 Cao ni ma (grass mud horse) sounds a lot like 操你媽 Cao ni ma  (fuck your mum)

The river crab (河蟹, héxiè) symbolises official censorship, as its pronunciation resembles the word for “harmony” (和谐, héxié). Obviously the grass mud horse lives in the ‘Grass mud horse Mahler Gobi desert’ (or fuck your mother’s cunt) cǎo ní mǎ Gēbì (草泥马戈壁).

There have been lots of academic attempts to explain this as the underground Chinese internet revolution that will eventually topple China, but it is a bit more of a ‘cat and mouse’ game that goes on with Chinese censorship in all forms. More to come on that later. Chinese culture is ripe with satire and sly attacks on the ruling elite, but the imagery and form of the critique is often more subtle and colourful.

The grass mud horse is not particularly subtle but it is pretty funny. Please enjoy the videos below. One is an explanation of the linguistics for non Chinese speakers. The second is a children’s version of the song and the last is a rap (my favourite).

 

 

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The protest that didn’t happen

Journalists love a good protest. Even when they don’t happen. Recently they have been at the front line of the middle east protests, they were in the thick of the student protests and they seem to play a bizarre role in the way movements develop. Protestors get excited by the presence of cameras (as do most of the general public) and often become wilder and more provocative in the knowledge that they have a wider audience. In the age of rolling 24 hour news we can also expect news crews to hover about near the more extreme ends of a protest trying to capture something juicy for their viewers. Indeed I was present at last years student protest in London and at the ‘fire extinguisher’ incident at Millbank. This utterly stupid incident, the poking of Camilla and other acts of vandalism were repeatedly shown on the news and coverage was dominated by these isolated events rather than the fact that tens of thousands of protestors were pleading with their government to think twice about their rash policy decisions on education for future generations.

I am not naively suggesting that news broadcasts should avoid these events (that would be dull), merely they should try to present them in a balanced way. Having said this, I believe that the existence of live news streams has created compulsive viewing. I now watch news to see what might happen as opposed to seeing what has happened. It is a bit like staying up til 3 in the morning watching Big Brother to see if Chantelle and Wizzo fondle each other in the outhouse jacuzzi (I made those names up as I haven’t watched it for years).  But the idea of news before it has happened isn’t actually news and shouldn’t really be broadcast on a news channel.

I have watched live coverage over the last few weeks of protests in Tunisia, Egypt and Libya and I have clearly tuned in at all the wrong moments. Far from the highlights package of the days events that you get in the 10 O clock news – I seemed to tune at the more mundane moments  - a few people were standing near a camel, a man smoking a cigarette, a white man in flannel trousers. Maybe this is bad timing on my behalf, or maybe I should just wait (like we used to) for things to actually happen and for journalists to provide an insightful report after the incident has occurred.

I do not wish to downplay the role of the journalist or broadcast media in protest. They often play a vital role. In the protests in Tiananmen Square in 1989 the foreign media acted as a catalyst for the escalating protests and gave protestors an international platform on which to voice their concerns. The foreign press had all arrived in Beijing to cover the Soviet presidents Mikhail Gorbachev’s state visit. The presence of the foreign media encouraged the protestors to play up to the cameras and capture the attention of their world audience. The media savvy students created huge embarrassment for the government by writing banners in English and creating symbols that an international audience would instantly recognise such as the Goddess of Democracy. The Tiananmen Square protest was huge and involved students, writers, some Communist Party moderates such as Zhao Ziyang and most importantly workers. It has been argued that the workers joining the movement was a crucial factor in bringing about the government’s violent reaction.

This is why I believe that the protest movement in the middle east will not spread to China. Both the people protesting and the situations are different. As well as demanding political reform, many of the protests in the Arab world have centred on job creation and anger at long term unemployment. The Chinese government does have cause for concern over rising inflation, however, it does not have the same stagnant unemployment seen in Egypt, Tunisia and Libya. The media nonetheless, seems convinced that protest will spread to China. With their cameras poised, they waited this weekend on Wangfujing street, one of Beijing’s major shopping thoroughfares to report on the rumoured “Jasmine Revolution.” ‘Protests’ also apparently occured in other cities in China. the Guardian reported that:

‘Shanghai police used whistles to disperse a crowd of around 200, although it was unclear if the people were anything more than onlookers. It said officers detained at least four Chinese citizens in the city and two others in Beijing. It was not clear, however, if those detained had tried to protest’

photo of entirely different protest unrelated to this article (standard practice -see below)

This is hardly ground shaking stuff. The protests that didn’t happen(?) were reported/initiated by US based blog Boxun who claim that their site has been under cyber attack in the last week. Their website contains a series of youtube clips of people standing around and staring at police and military cordoned off areas. It is not really clear if any protest actually took place. The protests were meant to be a response to the state’s increased suppression of human rights activists and bloggers who have been suppressed. The telegraph are also reporting on the “Jasmine revolution” in Beijing,  although their leading photo is bizarrely one from Taiwan. They state that crowds of people were dispersed by street cleaning vehicles and that reporters from the BBC were ‘bundled into a van by police’. I guess we can assume that we wont be getting any rolling news pieces then? The telegraph’s photo is not the only example of deceptive photos. Anti CNN suggest that a number of news organisations have been ‘borrowing’ photos from other protests and claiming that they are part of the ‘Jasmine Revolution.’

The heightened police and military presence could indicate a growing fear amongst government officials, or it could not. Journalists in China, both domestic and foreign have always had limited access and the government are particularly sensitive if a journalist even catches a whiff of unrest. Excessive human rights abuses by the Chinese government are reported in foreign media but often this leads to Chinese accusations that the foreign press only focus on the negatives in China: a sort of nationalist self-defence mechanism. Heavy military and police presence on the streets of the capital do not indicate that there is growing unrest. It may just be a flex of muscle to show that a ‘blog uprising’ does not scare it.

Either way it is certain that ‘protests’ are a hot ‘trending topic’ at the moment so even protests that don’t happen are going to get serious news coverage.

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