Author Archives: Robespierre

Moon cake

Brush Duck enters the space race, giving a big thumbs up and tip of the space helmet visor to the unmanned Chinese landing module which is expected to touch down today in the Bay of Rainbows, the Moon.  The landing module will deploy the robotic rover and Oriental sex-toy soundalike “Jade Rabbit” which will presumably buzz around a bit collecting soil and then record a twerking video for Youku.

月亮代表我的心!

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Playing Chinese gin rummy with Mao

Click here for a really fascinating interview from the BBC World Service’s Witness program with Sidney Rittenberg, an American communist who joined up with the CCP leadership in Yan’an, Shaanxi province, in 1946.

Yan’an is considered the birthplace of the Revolution, as it was the finishing point of the Long March, and the centrepoint for Chinese communism between 1936 and 1948.  Rittenberg describes seeing the CCP top brass wandering freely about the deserted town and meeting for card games and dances.

Mao in Yan'an: "He danced every dance"

Mao in Yan’an: “He generally danced every dance”

Despite being imprisoned in solitary confinement twice by his comrades, for a total of 16 years, including during the declaration of the People’s Republic in October 1949, Rittenberg seems to have fond memories of his time in Yan’an, particularly of Zhou Enlai.  Mao is described as an aloof, hulking figure, but he remembers “he had an amazing sense of humour, he would keep you in stitches the entire time”.

BBC World Service Witness

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Mao not a Beleiber – 不到长城非好汉

Not always praised for his foresight, it seems that Mao must have had 30 September 2013 in mind when he proclaimed that “Who never climbed the Great Wall cannot be deemed a Man”  (不到长城非好汉).  For on that day the total ninny from Stratford, Ontario, Justin Beiber, got carried up the Wall by his bodyguards, before celebrating like an idiot.

jb

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That’s not OK(FC)

Something everybody knew, but would probably have preferred not to have had confirmed, has been confirmed by CCTV this week.

That something is that if you plan on grabbing a drink at KFC in Beijing, you would be 13 times better off filling your own ice tray from a public loo, freezing the cubes at home, and taking the cubes along to KFC, than lumping for KFC’s own ice cubes.  Ok, let’s say ten times better off (less convenient).

Not bothered

Not bothered

OK, here comes the science bit – a Beijing KFC’s ice cubes were reported to contain 900 colony-forming units (CFU) of bacteria per millilitre.  That is 13 times more than toilet water and more than 20 times the national limit (though to my mind 45 CFUs per millilitre doesn’t sound that healthy either).

 However rest assured that shrimp flavoured potato chips have been given the all clear.

For more, see the South China Morning Post.

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Good hands!

If you’re going to find yourself hanging from a fourth floor window ledge, try to make sure you have this set of helpful Zhejiang couriers down below you.

Ideally, in these circumstances, the ground crew will have time to put a full bed-sheet plan into operation (see illustration below) – however, the gang managed to break the toddler’s fall well enough and she was left with only minor injuries.

Textbook

Textbook

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Beijing high rise

Not as well known as Hong Kong or Shanghai for it’s upwards protrusions, Beijing does still have its fair share of mighty erections.  And, with the skyline already boasting one building firmly in the the trouser department (the quite unique CCTV Headquarters, commonly known as 大裤衩 or “Big Pants”), purile Beijingers now been handed the gift of the new People’s Daily HQ to laugh at:

People's daily hq

“But…it looks like a…colossal penis!”

Let’s hope that the new workplace will inspire People’s Daily staff to produce some truly seminal output!

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Guan me lad!

A big Brushduck shout out to 14.5 year old amateur Guan Tianlang, who tees off for his Masters debut at the Augusta National Golf Club today as the tournament’s youngest ever player.

Hope he has a spare pair of those trousers - in case he gets a hole in one!

I hope he has a spare pair of those trousers – in case he gets a hole in one!

Stay tuned to this blog where we will be reporting on his tournament on Sunday night (if he wins).

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