Category Archives: News

KFC to take customers at face value

It’s been over three years since our last KFC update, but happily this time the news is so good you might be tempted to lick your fingers!

Super Chinese search engine Baidu has partnered with the Louisville-based fowl giant Kentucky Fried Chicken to trial a new “smart restaurant” in Beijing.  The smart bit is that the restaurant has terminals which use face recognition software to suggest a choice of meal, based on the customer’s age, gender and mood.  A worked example might be as follows: “Hi – you appear to be a 47 year old man who is disillusioned with the state of the world in 2017 – have a family bargain bucket!”

However, disappointed fast food enthusiast and former Guns N’ Roses guitarist Buckethead  (pictured) is reported as saying that the face recognition terminals “simply do not work”.

buckethead

65 years after KFC first opened its doors, the identity of the 11 herbs and spices that go into founder Colonel Harland Sanders’ “original recipe” coating remains a matter of intense speculation .  However, if I had to guess, I would go for salt, black pepper, white pepper, celery salt, garlic salt, thyme, basil, oregano, dried mustard, paprika and ground ginger.

More at the Guardian.

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Brushducks joins the duang throng

It seems everyone is saying “duang” and no-one knows why – except maybe Jackie Chan.

Dwongggggg

*artist’s impression

At Brushduck we are happy to go along with this.

Dwongggggg

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Moon cake

Brush Duck enters the space race, giving a big thumbs up and tip of the space helmet visor to the unmanned Chinese landing module which is expected to touch down today in the Bay of Rainbows, the Moon.  The landing module will deploy the robotic rover and Oriental sex-toy soundalike “Jade Rabbit” which will presumably buzz around a bit collecting soil and then record a twerking video for Youku.

月亮代表我的心!

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Mao not a Beleiber – 不到长城非好汉

Not always praised for his foresight, it seems that Mao must have had 30 September 2013 in mind when he proclaimed that “Who never climbed the Great Wall cannot be deemed a Man”  (不到长城非好汉).  For on that day the total ninny from Stratford, Ontario, Justin Beiber, got carried up the Wall by his bodyguards, before celebrating like an idiot.

jb

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Good hands!

If you’re going to find yourself hanging from a fourth floor window ledge, try to make sure you have this set of helpful Zhejiang couriers down below you.

Ideally, in these circumstances, the ground crew will have time to put a full bed-sheet plan into operation (see illustration below) – however, the gang managed to break the toddler’s fall well enough and she was left with only minor injuries.

Textbook

Textbook

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Beijing high rise

Not as well known as Hong Kong or Shanghai for it’s upwards protrusions, Beijing does still have its fair share of mighty erections.  And, with the skyline already boasting one building firmly in the the trouser department (the quite unique CCTV Headquarters, commonly known as 大裤衩 or “Big Pants”), purile Beijingers now been handed the gift of the new People’s Daily HQ to laugh at:

People's daily hq

“But…it looks like a…colossal penis!”

Let’s hope that the new workplace will inspire People’s Daily staff to produce some truly seminal output!

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Man who denounced his mother denounces his actions

A moving video report from the Guardian.

Anonymous stories of children denouncing their parents as counterrevolutionaries are often used to illustrate the all-pervasive horrors of the Cultural Revolution.  However, it is a brave move for this man to talk openly about his regrets over his actions forty-three years on.

 

Click here to see the video.

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