Tag Archives: funny

KFC to take customers at face value

It’s been over three years since our last KFC update, but happily this time the news is so good you might be tempted to lick your fingers!

Super Chinese search engine Baidu has partnered with the Louisville-based fowl giant Kentucky Fried Chicken to trial a new “smart restaurant” in Beijing.  The smart bit is that the restaurant has terminals which use face recognition software to suggest a choice of meal, based on the customer’s age, gender and mood.  A worked example might be as follows: “Hi – you appear to be a 47 year old man who is disillusioned with the state of the world in 2017 – have a family bargain bucket!”

However, disappointed fast food enthusiast and former Guns N’ Roses guitarist Buckethead  (pictured) is reported as saying that the face recognition terminals “simply do not work”.

buckethead

65 years after KFC first opened its doors, the identity of the 11 herbs and spices that go into founder Colonel Harland Sanders’ “original recipe” coating remains a matter of intense speculation .  However, if I had to guess, I would go for salt, black pepper, white pepper, celery salt, garlic salt, thyme, basil, oregano, dried mustard, paprika and ground ginger.

More at the Guardian.

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Chinese* Guide to the UK Election

Confused about who to vote for?

Some slightly bizarre election analysis from *Taiwanese animators

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Name Game

Brushduck is calling on its legions to contribute to Visit Britain’s “GREAT names” campaign, which encourages Chinese visitors to come up with Chinese names for top GB landmarks!

Inspiring vid with top production released earlier this month below:

Some of the imaginative names already established for GB landmarks include:
London Eye – Lun Dun Yan 伦敦眼
Big Ben – Da Ben Zhong 大本钟

But we think you can do better than that!

A couple to get you started:
Broadway Market – Chao Ren Shi Chang 潮人市场
Bonar Bridge – Bo Qi Qiao 勃起桥
The Emirates Stadium – Zhi Chang Ti Yu Guan 直肠体育馆

Make sure to copy your suggestions below please..!

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Drunken Monkey Style

We can learn a lot from the drunken monkey.

monkey wine

After doing some research into how to treat high blood pressure I came across a paper studying the effects of Calcium channel blockers on alcohol-drinking monkeys. Initially I imagined a gruesome laboratory in which poor monkeys were pilled up and force-fed Lambrini’s, WKD’s or Jäger bombs.  However I soon discovered that the experiments were slightly more nuanced and based on the monkey’s preference for alcohol after taking the anti-hypertensives rather than any university style frat house forced drinking games. It turns out that the pills turn off some of this booze-monkeys from drink (probably a good thing as the side effects of these drugs are amplified with alcohol)

The concept of a drunk monkey is not a new one and these monkeys have been studied extensively and their habits compare with human drinking patterns.

see this hilarious BBC video:

In Chinese martial arts, there is a unique style which incorporates the relaxed and swaying movements of a drunken monkey. It involves rolling around a lot, eye poking and throat attacks and low kicks. The inspiration for Drunken Monkey style is Sun Wu Kong (孙悟空)  the Monkey King, the main character in the Chinese epic Journey to the West (西遊記). Non Sinophiles may recognise him from the excellent 2008 BBC Beijing Olympics animation

Monkey King BBC olympics

So lesson learned: Don’t give monkeys alcohol and don’t treat their blood pressure, or they will kick your ass.

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Filed under Animal, comedy, Health, Martial Arts, Medicine

Beijing State of Mind

LaoWai’s repping it in Beijing

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by | August 6, 2013 · 10:48 pm

That’s not OK(FC)

Something everybody knew, but would probably have preferred not to have had confirmed, has been confirmed by CCTV this week.

That something is that if you plan on grabbing a drink at KFC in Beijing, you would be 13 times better off filling your own ice tray from a public loo, freezing the cubes at home, and taking the cubes along to KFC, than lumping for KFC’s own ice cubes.  Ok, let’s say ten times better off (less convenient).

Not bothered

Not bothered

OK, here comes the science bit – a Beijing KFC’s ice cubes were reported to contain 900 colony-forming units (CFU) of bacteria per millilitre.  That is 13 times more than toilet water and more than 20 times the national limit (though to my mind 45 CFUs per millilitre doesn’t sound that healthy either).

 However rest assured that shrimp flavoured potato chips have been given the all clear.

For more, see the South China Morning Post.

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Filed under Food

Obama’s natural advantage (according to Durex)

Durex’s China posted an ad suggesting that the difference between the two US presidential candidates can be boiled down to the measurements of their masculine protrusions. Size does matter.

 

The post was in a microblog on Weibo (chinese Twitter)  

The caption says: “The difference between Obama and Romney is…”

Image

silly old me thinking the election was won on the almost $6 billion ad spend… 

 

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