Tag Archives: football

China’s march halted by Cahill at Asian Cup

Now, people in some quarters have claimed that Brushduck was not even aware that the Asian Cup – Australia 2015 was taking place, let alone that China was taking part, having qualified for their 11th straight championship.  While there might be some truth to this, it doesn’t matter, as we now bring you this Sports Report special on China’s progress in the competition.

China breezed through the early phase, topping Group B after smashing grieving Saudi Arabia 1-0, pulverising coastline-challenged Uzbekistan 2-1 and mullering long-time ideological pals North Korea 2-1 – Jiangsu Sainty’s Sun Ke (孙可) with a brace making it 3 in 3 in the competition.

Sun Ke celebrates v North Korea

Sun Ke celebrates v North Korea

Unfortunately it all came to a dramatic end at the Brisbane Stadium against the home nation in the last-8, as China failed to take advantage of early pressure and veteren Socceroos’ talisman Tim Cahill  ensured his side’s progress with a couple of beauties, including this overhead effort:

Australia take on UAE in the semis as they hunt for their first Asian Cup triumph on their fourth attempt.

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Becks to tackle Chinese footy corruption

With the exciting news that David Beckham has been named as the first global ambassador for Chinese football, Brushduck presents a quick, and sometimes accurate, guide to the essential lingo for those tracking Becks in his new and exerting role tackling corruption in the Chinese Super League (CSL):

Beckham supporting China's fight against football corruption

WATCHING YOU: “Riches and honor depend on heaven”

  • 大卫·贝克汉姆 (Dàwèi Bèikèhànmǔ): David Beckham
  • 小贝 (Xiǎo Bèi): Becks
  • 金球 (Jīn qiú): Golden Balls
  • 维多利亚·贝克汉姆 (Wéiduōlìyà Bèikèhànmǔ): Victoria Beckham
  • 高贵辣妹 (Gāoguì Làmèi): Posh Spice
  • 像贝克汉姆一样香蕉射球 (Xiàng Bèikèhànmǔ yīyàng xiāngjiāo shèqiú): Bend it like Beckham
  • 任意球 (Rènyìqiú): Free kick
  • 红牌 (Hóng pái): Red card
  • 内衣 (Nèiyī): Underwear
  • 布鲁克林·贝克汉姆 (Bùlǔkèlín Bèikèhànmǔ):  Brooklyn Beckham
  • 哈珀·七·贝克汉姆 (Hāpò Qī Bèikèhànmǔ): Harper Seven Beckham
  • 腐败 (Fǔbài): Corruption
  • 受贿 (Shòuhuì): Bribery

D-Beck’s aptitude for foreign languages is well known – see below, for example, his final press conference in Spanish in 2007 following 4 years spent with La Liga giants Real Madrid.  We hope the England legend is currently perfecting his tones ahead of his head first dive into the murky underworld of Chinese football.  “I got the ball ref!”

Have we missed any essential Becks vocab?  Comments welcome below!

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A Sichuan dog barks at the Sun – Nicolas Anelka off to China?

Anelka to Shenhua?

The Chinese idiom a sichuan dog barks at the sun 蜀犬吠日 (Shu quan fei ri) is used to indicate being suprised at something being normal, due to one’s ignorance. During the Tang dynasty Sichuan was a foggy place (now it is just polluted) and when the Sun came out it was a rare occasion. So the dogs barked, thinking something strange was happening.

This link is pretty tenuous. Yesterday, I got pretty excited and started barking at an article in the Sun linking Chelsea forward Nicholas Anelka to Shanghai Shenhua. Apparently, Anelka was being offered £9.2 million per season to join the struggling Shanghai outfit. Where these numbers or stories come from is anybody’s guess.

According to the Sun (and the Mail), Shenhua also recently appointed Miroslav Blazevic, 76, as their new coach. However, standards of journalism at these national papers are clearly not very high. Not only was the Anelka  story a load of tosh, but it is also quite clear that Blazevic is not the manager of Shenhua. Blazevic took the job as national team coach for China, then didn’t qualify for the 2012 Olympics and is now working in Iranian league football side Mes Kerman.

Shenhua’s coach is of course Croatian legend Drazen Besek. To verify, here is a fantastic video of Besek, doing what some managers in the English Premier League should do. One of the Shenhua players ‘collides’ with another on the field, he drops to the floor as though mortally wounded. Besek has none of it and rushes on to the field, tells him to stop faking and picks him up.

Although football fans have come to expect transfer rumours to be just that, they still manage to sell newspapers and generate stories where there are none.

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Arsenal hope to end trophy drought in China

As loathed as I am to put anything Arsenal related on this site… This video is actually quite funny.

Arsenal will be playing Hangzhou Greentown on July 16th (Go Hangzhou!)

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Filed under comedy, Football, Sport