Tag Archives: Chinese

Lil Kim is Sexy and he knows it

The People’s Daily, once referred to as the codpiece (sorry mouthpiece) of the Chinese Communist Party has reported an article in the satirical website the Onion as fact.

The Onion declared Kim Jong Un, or Lil Kim as he is affectionately known as ‘the Sexiest Man Alive in 2012’

The Onion reported:

With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Kim made this newspaper’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile,” it said.

“He has that rare ability to somehow be completely adorable and completely macho at the same time,” said Marissa Blake-Zweiber, editor of The Onion Style and Entertainment.

The fact that the People’s Daily are even bothering to report this sort of tripe, would make Mao turn over in his Maoseleum. In the 1950s TV and radio were known as the ‘throat and tongue’ (houshe 喉舌) of the Chinese Communist Party and they played a key role in disseminating Party policy and propaganda to the far reaching corners of China. In 2012, it seems they are scouring the internet for titbits desperate to gain a market share.

 

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Filed under censorship, comedy, Communist Party, Kim Jong Il, Politics, Propaganda

Mao Vs Morissette!

How well do you know Alanis? How well do you know Mao?
Pit your skills against the best in the first brushduck quiz:



How did you do?

90-100% Lei Feng
70-80% Khrushchev revisionist
50-60% Guomindang reactionary
30-40% Capitalist roader
10-20% Running dog
0% In the service of the imperialists

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Filed under media, Music, Politics, Propaganda

In the land of the blind, the man with one Weetabix is king.

In a brief round up of news from the central kingdom:

– blind Chinese activist Chen Guangcheng might be allowed to go on a ‘gap year’ to the states

Chen had campaigned against forced abortions in his home province of Shandong and had met the brunt of provincial official brutality. Until he knocked on the US door of the US embassy….

– Weetabix are now 60% owned by Chinese company Bright Food.

The Sun have reported that the boss of Bright Food can only manage two Weetabix for breakfast…

either breakfasts in China will start getting better, or breakfast in England will be full of cadmium dihydrophosphodiesterase E4934.

I happen to like Weetabix but a head chef at the Savoy describes them as “cakes that you give to dogs”

Bright Food are also after United Biscuits, which makes Jaffa Cakes and Hula Hoops, and French yoghurt group Yoplait.

What next? Curly Wurlys and petit filous watch out..

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Filed under Advertising, Blogs, Breakfast, comedy

Chinese in Africa (continued)

Good Al Jazeera 20 minute documentary on Chinese immigrants in Senegal.

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Filed under Africa, Dispute, Film, Politics

A Sichuan dog barks at the Sun – Nicolas Anelka off to China?

Anelka to Shenhua?

The Chinese idiom a sichuan dog barks at the sun 蜀犬吠日 (Shu quan fei ri) is used to indicate being suprised at something being normal, due to one’s ignorance. During the Tang dynasty Sichuan was a foggy place (now it is just polluted) and when the Sun came out it was a rare occasion. So the dogs barked, thinking something strange was happening.

This link is pretty tenuous. Yesterday, I got pretty excited and started barking at an article in the Sun linking Chelsea forward Nicholas Anelka to Shanghai Shenhua. Apparently, Anelka was being offered £9.2 million per season to join the struggling Shanghai outfit. Where these numbers or stories come from is anybody’s guess.

According to the Sun (and the Mail), Shenhua also recently appointed Miroslav Blazevic, 76, as their new coach. However, standards of journalism at these national papers are clearly not very high. Not only was the Anelka  story a load of tosh, but it is also quite clear that Blazevic is not the manager of Shenhua. Blazevic took the job as national team coach for China, then didn’t qualify for the 2012 Olympics and is now working in Iranian league football side Mes Kerman.

Shenhua’s coach is of course Croatian legend Drazen Besek. To verify, here is a fantastic video of Besek, doing what some managers in the English Premier League should do. One of the Shenhua players ‘collides’ with another on the field, he drops to the floor as though mortally wounded. Besek has none of it and rushes on to the field, tells him to stop faking and picks him up.

Although football fans have come to expect transfer rumours to be just that, they still manage to sell newspapers and generate stories where there are none.

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Filed under Dispute, EPL, Football, News, Sport

One Tiger Eight Breasts

the image now known as “一虎八奶图” one tiger, eight breasts (I can only spot 4)

According to an article in the Guardian : Ai Weiwei is now being charged with spreading ‘pornographic’ images all over the web. Ai invited some 网友 (net friends) over to his studio, shot some nudies and put them up on the web and then forgot he had done so.  The Chinese government view Ai as a tax evading dissident who is supported and praised by those in the west. The government are often cracking down on online pornography (they arrested 5,394 for disseminating online porn in 2009)

Ai told associated press: “If they see nudity as pornography, then China is still in the Qing dynasty,”

In a similar story the French government have removed works of Henri Matisse from gift shops all over Paris and put his grandson under house arrest.

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Filed under Art, censorship, Dispute, Fashion, Politics, Propaganda

Proof that pandas are massive lads.

I am not trying to make this a Panda related website. However, I am noticing a trend in the things that I post. (if you haven’t seen “say never say no to panda” see below) However, this video is too good to miss really. Most people think of pandas as cute furry docile creatures. This video proves that that is all a load of baloney. Pandas are massive LADS. Fact. Enjoy.

 

Ps some non panda posts will come shortly.

 

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Filed under Animal, comedy, Panda