Category Archives: Politics

Lil Kim is Sexy and he knows it

The People’s Daily, once referred to as the codpiece (sorry mouthpiece) of the Chinese Communist Party has reported an article in the satirical website the Onion as fact.

The Onion declared Kim Jong Un, or Lil Kim as he is affectionately known as ‘the Sexiest Man Alive in 2012’

The Onion reported:

With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Kim made this newspaper’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile,” it said.

“He has that rare ability to somehow be completely adorable and completely macho at the same time,” said Marissa Blake-Zweiber, editor of The Onion Style and Entertainment.

The fact that the People’s Daily are even bothering to report this sort of tripe, would make Mao turn over in his Maoseleum. In the 1950s TV and radio were known as the ‘throat and tongue’ (houshe 喉舌) of the Chinese Communist Party and they played a key role in disseminating Party policy and propaganda to the far reaching corners of China. In 2012, it seems they are scouring the internet for titbits desperate to gain a market share.

 

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Filed under censorship, comedy, Communist Party, Kim Jong Il, Politics, Propaganda

Mao Vs Morissette!

How well do you know Alanis? How well do you know Mao?
Pit your skills against the best in the first brushduck quiz:



How did you do?

90-100% Lei Feng
70-80% Khrushchev revisionist
50-60% Guomindang reactionary
30-40% Capitalist roader
10-20% Running dog
0% In the service of the imperialists

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Chinese in Africa (continued)

Good Al Jazeera 20 minute documentary on Chinese immigrants in Senegal.

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Filed under Africa, Dispute, Film, Politics

A tale of murder, fog, beef noodles and the ‘greatest gangster in China’

This story is a Chinese Agatha Christie style murder mystery Cluedo on crack.

The backdrop to this tale of political intrigue is Chongqing, (think Gotham with dumplings)  – an overpopulated, murky, fogged up city run by corrupt gangsters and even more corrupt officials.

Gotham

Chongqing

In November of last year a 41 year old British ‘businessman‘ Neil Heywood was found dead in a hotel room and was swiftly cremated, with the official verdict being that he had drunk himself to death. Only Neil Heywood didn’t drink. Heywood was a Mandarin speaking ex public school (Harrow) businessman, Aston Martin dealer and freelance consultant for ‘intelligence’ agency Hakluyt, who seem to be rapidly distancing themselves from the story.

The death of Mr Heyman is one of the key events in the drama of the downfall of the Communist Party chief in Chongqing, Bo Xilai.

Bo had it all. Just a year ago, he was tipped to be one of the new leaders of China and now his political career is in ruins and his wife is being accused of  murder. Bo was one of the rising stars of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and was lauded for his stints as Mayor in Dalian, Governor of Liaoniang and party chief of Chongqing. However, his stellar career has come crashing down after he was  suspended from the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) after his head of police, Wang Lijun was accused of trying to defect to the US at their consulate in Chengdu. Reports have suggested that Wang discussed the death of Heywood with Bo and suspected foul play.  Then in a frightened state he tried to seek refuge from Mr Bo by defecting to the West.  An article supposedly penned by Wang referred to Bo as the ‘greatest gangster in China’

Bo’s wife, Gu Kailai has been ‘transferred to the judicial authorities’ in relation to death of Mr Heywood. The relationship between Heywood and Bo is not fully clear. It has been reported that he was a ‘fixer’ for Bo’s family and helped his son gain a place at Harrow school in north west London.  Whether the relationship between Bo, Gu and Heywood turned sour or not is unclear.

Bo made a name for himself in Chongqing with his no-nonsense approach to corruption and organized crime. Did he broke a few eggs too many in trying to make his omelette of Chinese power? Over the course of a few months he has gone from hot prospect to hot potato and has been dismissed from the Politburo and is now being investigated for “serious discipline violations”

This is being reported as one of the most significant political upheavals in China for 20 years . The British government have added their approval to the ongoing investigations into Heywood’s death. The reactions on the Chinese blogosphere are also interesting to note. In the censored and monitored world of the Chinese internet Chinese netizens often find their freedom to use language as they please is  suppressed so they invent nicknames for people and events to make sure they can still talk about what is going on. In the internal struggles to remove Bo and Zhou Yongkang from power, bloggers reported the following:

In the 18th tugging war contest (18th National Congress) the “carrot ball” (Hu Jintao) led his team members “antenna baby” (Wen Jiabao), ‘learning machine” (Xi Jinping) and “wood seed” (Li Keqiang) to win against their rivals “Master Kong beef noodle” (Zhou Yongkang) who severely lost the game without support from “Tomato” (Bo Xilai).

The drama continues….

Bo, Gu and Neil

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Filed under Blogs, Bo Xilai, censorship, Communist Party, corruption, Dispute, media, News, Politics, Propaganda

Stop Tony 2012

Tony 2012

Tony is one of the world’s worst war criminals and I support the international effort to arrest him.

On 2 May 1997, millions of disillusioned middle class parents were taken in by his charming smile and persuaded to join him on his series of religious wars/crusades.

Who is Tony?

Tony is one of the world’s worst war criminals. In 1994 he took over leadership of an existing marginalised rebel group (Labour) and renamed it the New Labour (NL).

The NL has earned a reputation for its cruel and brutal tactics. When Tony found himself running out of members of his own cabinet, he started abducting non elected officials to be ‘advisers’ in his army or “gurus” for his officers.

Guru

The NL were encouraged to take over media, spend money on flat screen TVs, and deceive civilians–often with fake dossiers.

The NL is no longer active in northern Westminster but it continues its campaign of deception in Western Wales, the Central Republic of Stockton on Tees, and the People’s Republic of South Sunderland. In its 18-year history, the NL has abandoned more than 50,000 children and displaced at least 2.1 million people.

What is the goal of TONY 2012?

Invisible Classwar has been working for 9 years to end the UK’s longest-running unarmed conflict. U.S. military advisers are currently deployed in Central London on a “time-limited” mission to stop Tony and disarm the NL. If Tony isn’t captured this year, the window will be gone.

Sign the pledge to help us bring Tony to justice in 2012.

please watch the video. Get the bracelets, retweet this post. Get it on facebook, Bebo, Myspace, CBeebies, the lot.

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Filed under Africa, army, Blogs, censorship, comedy, Politics, Propaganda, TV, Uncategorized

Can Kim Jong-un be North Korea’s Deng Xiaoping? | Isabel Hilton | Comment is free | The Guardian

Can Kim Jong-un be North Korea’s Deng Xiaoping? | Isabel Hilton | Comment is free | The Guardian.

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One Tiger Eight Breasts

the image now known as “一虎八奶图” one tiger, eight breasts (I can only spot 4)

According to an article in the Guardian : Ai Weiwei is now being charged with spreading ‘pornographic’ images all over the web. Ai invited some 网友 (net friends) over to his studio, shot some nudies and put them up on the web and then forgot he had done so.  The Chinese government view Ai as a tax evading dissident who is supported and praised by those in the west. The government are often cracking down on online pornography (they arrested 5,394 for disseminating online porn in 2009)

Ai told associated press: “If they see nudity as pornography, then China is still in the Qing dynasty,”

In a similar story the French government have removed works of Henri Matisse from gift shops all over Paris and put his grandson under house arrest.

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Filed under Art, censorship, Dispute, Fashion, Politics, Propaganda

Obama loves Hu

Although the White House has announced its disapproval at Benettons’ new ad campaign there has been no denial of the romance that has been slowly blossoming. White House spokesman Eric Schulz wrote: ‘The White House has a longstanding policy disapproving of the use of the president’s name and likeness for commercial purposes.”

No denial then.

Tensions between the two world leaders have been rising in recent weeks after Obama announced that he was sending 2,500 US troops to be based in Australia. This is presumably to remind China that America exists and hasnt forgotten that there is lots of oil in the south China sea and to give the troops a snorkeling holiday.

China has recently signed an agreement with other South Asian countries setting out some guidelines as to what the laws of the sea should be. There have been a number of disputes in the South China Seas in recent years over oil and land rights. The US are remaining ‘neutral’ but are backing up the Phillipines in an argument over the Spratly islands. 

The argument seems to stem from a debate over who has the oldest map. China claims it found some really old ones.

For more research into the South China Seas disputes, please watch this educational clip:

 

 

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Filed under comedy, Dispute, Military, News, Politics, Spratly

Ēggel hazâhâḇ flak at “Best Village in China”

Not since Aaron’s notorious idol misjudgement on Mount Sinai has a life-size aureate bovine caused quite such a stir.  Jiangsu Party guy Wu Renbao’s decision to install a £31m solid gold statue of an ox on the 60th floor of rural Huaxi’s new 1,076ft supertower has been branded a gross extravagance by some, particularly as many of the farmers who live in its shadow earn low wages.

you COW!

Villagers have reportedly started a helicopter business to give visitors a better view of the tower – which could be seen as indicative of the sort of Wu-instilled entrepreneurial zeal that has made Huaxi one of the richest villages in China and led to him to be decorated as a “Top National Contributor to Poverty-Alleviation”.  However I am not convinced of the long term economic rewards of skyscraper one-upmanship.

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Kim Jong Il looks at a Donor Kebab

I think I have found my new favourite website.

Things that Kim Jong Il looks at. This site is truly awesome. Good job.

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Filed under comedy, News, Politics, Propaganda