Category Archives: Animal

Drunken Monkey Style

We can learn a lot from the drunken monkey.

monkey wine

After doing some research into how to treat high blood pressure I came across a paper studying the effects of Calcium channel blockers on alcohol-drinking monkeys. Initially I imagined a gruesome laboratory in which poor monkeys were pilled up and force-fed Lambrini’s, WKD’s or Jäger bombs.  However I soon discovered that the experiments were slightly more nuanced and based on the monkey’s preference for alcohol after taking the anti-hypertensives rather than any university style frat house forced drinking games. It turns out that the pills turn off some of this booze-monkeys from drink (probably a good thing as the side effects of these drugs are amplified with alcohol)

The concept of a drunk monkey is not a new one and these monkeys have been studied extensively and their habits compare with human drinking patterns.

see this hilarious BBC video:

In Chinese martial arts, there is a unique style which incorporates the relaxed and swaying movements of a drunken monkey. It involves rolling around a lot, eye poking and throat attacks and low kicks. The inspiration for Drunken Monkey style is Sun Wu Kong (孙悟空)  the Monkey King, the main character in the Chinese epic Journey to the West (西遊記). Non Sinophiles may recognise him from the excellent 2008 BBC Beijing Olympics animation

Monkey King BBC olympics

So lesson learned: Don’t give monkeys alcohol and don’t treat their blood pressure, or they will kick your ass.

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Filed under Animal, comedy, Health, Martial Arts, Medicine

Proof that pandas are massive lads.

I am not trying to make this a Panda related website. However, I am noticing a trend in the things that I post. (if you haven’t seen “say never say no to panda” see below) However, this video is too good to miss really. Most people think of pandas as cute furry docile creatures. This video proves that that is all a load of baloney. Pandas are massive LADS. Fact. Enjoy.

 

Ps some non panda posts will come shortly.

 

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Filed under Animal, comedy, Panda

World’s most popular beer? Want to pee on a turtle?

Any idea what the most popular beer in the world is?

Sitting back with your friends enjoying a bud? Waaazzzzup?

enjoy drinking what is probably the best lager?

Would you give a XXXX for it? Best things come to those who wait?

No. The world’s most popular beer is Snow Beer (雪花啤酒)

According to the Telegraph, the Chinese drank 16.5bn pints of Snow last year.

Although most Chinese beers taste quite samey (think of a watered down bud light), I happen to think Snow actually tastes quite nice with a spicy meal. It is pretty inoffensive. At least I thought they were until I saw their latest marketing campaign…..

Snow beer are offering several lucky punters the chance to go to Kekexili – the Tibetan plateau. Here the fortunate winners can trod around on environmentally protected ground pissing off endangered species such as the Tibetan antelope . According to Jonathan Watts’ article in the Guardian, the plateau is “China’s most treasured nature reserve’ and has a ‘No Human Zone’, which as the name implies, is not supposed to be visited by anyone, yet Snow have gone ahead with their promotion even before they have permission.”

It would be as if Fosters offered their punters the chance for a lads holiday to the Galapagos islands to go and drink some brews, piss on a turtle’s face and eat its eggs in a giant fry up.

I should stop now, I don’t want to give them any ideas for competitions.

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Filed under Advertising, Animal, Beer, comedy, environment, Film, News, Tibet