Category Archives: News

Bad drunken decisions

We’ve all tried a nifty shortcut on the way home when sozzled.  But when rolling back from his village local in rural Zhejiang in the early hours of Thursday morning, I’m sure this man didn’t expect his ambitious diversion would end up being splashed across the UK’s finest (Sun, Daily Mail).

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Um.. help?

The unfortunate man had to wait til morning to be rescued when the owner of one of the walls (pictured on the left) allowed the fire department to knock through it.

A lesson to all.

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Dalai Lama under fire

Often seen as the world’s biggest goody goody, the Dalai Lama has been accused by chairman of the Tibet Autonomous Region People’s Congress (TAR) Chadma Poling of paying Tibetans in areas of Sichuan, Gansu and Qinghai in China’s south-west to set themselves on fire to stick it to the Chinese government.  While Brushduck has no proof of the truth or otherwise of the these allegations, Chadma Poling has!  But he says that disclosure is not convenient.

Artist's reconstruction

Artist’s reconstruction – seems unlikely?

Further, the state-run Chinese website China Tibet Online revealed last week that Lhamo Kyab, referred to as a senior member of the “Dalai Lama clique’s education system”, has authored a “Self-immolation Guide” which aims to aims to “standardize and systematize the self-immolation behavior so as to manipulate it like an assembly line in the future”, in order to promote the Dalai Lama goals, which it says include protest against Chinese rule.  

The Tibetan government-in-exile in Dharamsala has, unsurprisingly, distanced itself from both Lhamo Kyab and his guide.  However, the Dalia Lama has been criticised in the past for failing to denounce incidents of self-immolation.

The tragedy remains that since 27 February 2009, when a young Tibetan monk called Tapey attempted self-immolation in a marketplace in Sichuan, it is estimated that 78 Tibetans have burned themselves to death on account of their discontent with Chinese rule.   The frequency of incidents peaked between March 2011 and March 2012, following the death of Phuntsog, again in Sichuan.

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Becks to tackle Chinese footy corruption

With the exciting news that David Beckham has been named as the first global ambassador for Chinese football, Brushduck presents a quick, and sometimes accurate, guide to the essential lingo for those tracking Becks in his new and exerting role tackling corruption in the Chinese Super League (CSL):

Beckham supporting China's fight against football corruption

WATCHING YOU: “Riches and honor depend on heaven”

  • 大卫·贝克汉姆 (Dàwèi Bèikèhànmǔ): David Beckham
  • 小贝 (Xiǎo Bèi): Becks
  • 金球 (Jīn qiú): Golden Balls
  • 维多利亚·贝克汉姆 (Wéiduōlìyà Bèikèhànmǔ): Victoria Beckham
  • 高贵辣妹 (Gāoguì Làmèi): Posh Spice
  • 像贝克汉姆一样香蕉射球 (Xiàng Bèikèhànmǔ yīyàng xiāngjiāo shèqiú): Bend it like Beckham
  • 任意球 (Rènyìqiú): Free kick
  • 红牌 (Hóng pái): Red card
  • 内衣 (Nèiyī): Underwear
  • 布鲁克林·贝克汉姆 (Bùlǔkèlín Bèikèhànmǔ):  Brooklyn Beckham
  • 哈珀·七·贝克汉姆 (Hāpò Qī Bèikèhànmǔ): Harper Seven Beckham
  • 腐败 (Fǔbài): Corruption
  • 受贿 (Shòuhuì): Bribery

D-Beck’s aptitude for foreign languages is well known – see below, for example, his final press conference in Spanish in 2007 following 4 years spent with La Liga giants Real Madrid.  We hope the England legend is currently perfecting his tones ahead of his head first dive into the murky underworld of Chinese football.  “I got the ball ref!”

Have we missed any essential Becks vocab?  Comments welcome below!

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University officials inflamed by grad snap

they shouldn't have left xiao wang alone in the chemistry labs

University staff at the Dalian University of Technology said they were disappointed that students went ahead with the traditional square hat fling graduation photo while a campus warehouse fire blazed in the background.  Though when I studied at the University I was lit up by the warmth of the teachers and students alike.

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A tale of murder, fog, beef noodles and the ‘greatest gangster in China’

This story is a Chinese Agatha Christie style murder mystery Cluedo on crack.

The backdrop to this tale of political intrigue is Chongqing, (think Gotham with dumplings)  – an overpopulated, murky, fogged up city run by corrupt gangsters and even more corrupt officials.

Gotham

Chongqing

In November of last year a 41 year old British ‘businessman‘ Neil Heywood was found dead in a hotel room and was swiftly cremated, with the official verdict being that he had drunk himself to death. Only Neil Heywood didn’t drink. Heywood was a Mandarin speaking ex public school (Harrow) businessman, Aston Martin dealer and freelance consultant for ‘intelligence’ agency Hakluyt, who seem to be rapidly distancing themselves from the story.

The death of Mr Heyman is one of the key events in the drama of the downfall of the Communist Party chief in Chongqing, Bo Xilai.

Bo had it all. Just a year ago, he was tipped to be one of the new leaders of China and now his political career is in ruins and his wife is being accused of  murder. Bo was one of the rising stars of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and was lauded for his stints as Mayor in Dalian, Governor of Liaoniang and party chief of Chongqing. However, his stellar career has come crashing down after he was  suspended from the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) after his head of police, Wang Lijun was accused of trying to defect to the US at their consulate in Chengdu. Reports have suggested that Wang discussed the death of Heywood with Bo and suspected foul play.  Then in a frightened state he tried to seek refuge from Mr Bo by defecting to the West.  An article supposedly penned by Wang referred to Bo as the ‘greatest gangster in China’

Bo’s wife, Gu Kailai has been ‘transferred to the judicial authorities’ in relation to death of Mr Heywood. The relationship between Heywood and Bo is not fully clear. It has been reported that he was a ‘fixer’ for Bo’s family and helped his son gain a place at Harrow school in north west London.  Whether the relationship between Bo, Gu and Heywood turned sour or not is unclear.

Bo made a name for himself in Chongqing with his no-nonsense approach to corruption and organized crime. Did he broke a few eggs too many in trying to make his omelette of Chinese power? Over the course of a few months he has gone from hot prospect to hot potato and has been dismissed from the Politburo and is now being investigated for “serious discipline violations”

This is being reported as one of the most significant political upheavals in China for 20 years . The British government have added their approval to the ongoing investigations into Heywood’s death. The reactions on the Chinese blogosphere are also interesting to note. In the censored and monitored world of the Chinese internet Chinese netizens often find their freedom to use language as they please is  suppressed so they invent nicknames for people and events to make sure they can still talk about what is going on. In the internal struggles to remove Bo and Zhou Yongkang from power, bloggers reported the following:

In the 18th tugging war contest (18th National Congress) the “carrot ball” (Hu Jintao) led his team members “antenna baby” (Wen Jiabao), ‘learning machine” (Xi Jinping) and “wood seed” (Li Keqiang) to win against their rivals “Master Kong beef noodle” (Zhou Yongkang) who severely lost the game without support from “Tomato” (Bo Xilai).

The drama continues….

Bo, Gu and Neil

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Born under a bad sign

As if life wasn’t awful enough, an English language training company recently posted a job advert at a Wuhan University that precluded Scorpios and Virgos from applying.  The “moody and critical” zodiacal outcasts were deemed unsuitable for the roles as teachers and clerks.

Full story on the Telegraph.

On the plus, these very characteristics should surely make them top candidates for other types of employment – for example if the nearby Nanjing Forestry University is still recruiting “Red Armbands” to curb inappropriate displays of intimacy on campus.

we were only neckin miss

Here at Brushduck we are firm believers in equal opportunities, but if anything favour contributions from predatory arthropods and virgins.

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A Sichuan dog barks at the Sun – Nicolas Anelka off to China?

Anelka to Shenhua?

The Chinese idiom a sichuan dog barks at the sun 蜀犬吠日 (Shu quan fei ri) is used to indicate being suprised at something being normal, due to one’s ignorance. During the Tang dynasty Sichuan was a foggy place (now it is just polluted) and when the Sun came out it was a rare occasion. So the dogs barked, thinking something strange was happening.

This link is pretty tenuous. Yesterday, I got pretty excited and started barking at an article in the Sun linking Chelsea forward Nicholas Anelka to Shanghai Shenhua. Apparently, Anelka was being offered £9.2 million per season to join the struggling Shanghai outfit. Where these numbers or stories come from is anybody’s guess.

According to the Sun (and the Mail), Shenhua also recently appointed Miroslav Blazevic, 76, as their new coach. However, standards of journalism at these national papers are clearly not very high. Not only was the Anelka  story a load of tosh, but it is also quite clear that Blazevic is not the manager of Shenhua. Blazevic took the job as national team coach for China, then didn’t qualify for the 2012 Olympics and is now working in Iranian league football side Mes Kerman.

Shenhua’s coach is of course Croatian legend Drazen Besek. To verify, here is a fantastic video of Besek, doing what some managers in the English Premier League should do. One of the Shenhua players ‘collides’ with another on the field, he drops to the floor as though mortally wounded. Besek has none of it and rushes on to the field, tells him to stop faking and picks him up.

Although football fans have come to expect transfer rumours to be just that, they still manage to sell newspapers and generate stories where there are none.

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