Author Archives: Robespierre

Strange fruit exploding

Excessive use of growth accelerator Forchlorfenuron has caused watermelons to explode like landmines in Danyang near Nanjing.  Pan Jing of Greenpeace said farmers depended on fertilisers because many doubled as migrant workers and had less time for their crops.

😦

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/17/exploding-watermelons-chinese-farming

Fruit is not always good for you

According to research published in 2001, 3.4 per cent of injuries requiring surgery in the Solomon Islands were coconut-palm related. Only 16 per cent of these were people hit by falling coconuts. The rest were people falling from trees.

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out on ai wei 61

Bob Dylan, who rarely speaks out against human rights abuses, failed to speak out against the imprisonment of human rights activist Ai Weiwei while on his recent tour of China.

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Now your dancing child with his Chineeese suuuuit

Latest reports suggest Beijing and Shanghai will be confused by Bob Dylan in April 2011.

"Didn't Bob Dylan die?" - no

The ministry said in a brief statement that Dylan – the writer of some of rock’s most iconic and politically charged songs – must perform “strictly according to an approved program”.

I assume this means no 80s  material etc etc.

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Keep off the sunflower seeds

Old news, Beijing artist, dissident and ex-studio owner Ai Weiwei has loaded the Turbine Hall at the Tate Modern with 100,000,000 individually handmade porcelain replica sunflower seeds.  Though billed as a sensory and immersive installation, you are sadly no longer permitted to walk accross the seeds.  I suspect this is becuase people couldn’t resist the temptation to pinch one as a souvenier.  I was disappointed, as I had been hoping to pinch one as a souvenier.  This decision was made on October 16th last year, making this old news too.

People who timed their visit better than me

Sunflower Seeds is at the Turbine Hall untill 2 May.

http://www.tate.org.uk/modern/exhibitions/unileverseries2010/default.shtm

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李娜加油! Go Li Na!

We would like show our support for Li Na, who has become the first Chinese tennis player to reach a Grand Slam singles final.

Determination! Li will need this to overcome Kim Clijsters in Melbourne

28 year old 李娜 from Wuhan, Hubei Province, should not be confused with 李娜 the 200o Olympics diving Gold Medal winner, 李娜 the 2006 World Champion épée fencer or 李娜 the 2002 World keirin cycling champion.

She should also definately not be confused with 李納, the former Prince of Longxi and General of the Tang Dynasty, or 李讷 the daughter of Mao Zedong with his fourth wife and writer of bad operas Jiang Qing.

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Year of the rabbit – looks frightening

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_Chinese_milk_scandal

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Li_Gang_incident

‘这真是有意义的年啊!’

(This really is a significant year)

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Learning from Han Han

Han Han (韓寒) is the most popular blogger in the world, included in New Statesman’s “The World’s 50 Most Influential Figures 2010” and a rally driver – but is his blog actually that good?  And why does he get  millions of hits per day while Brush Duck has only had 198 ever?

To find out I have translated his latest post from his blog Too Cold So Warm, a thriller with a social conscience:

Who are you, why are you asking this?

I remember last summer, when I went to a competition in Chengdu, I passed the City Government buildings.  Of course I did not know for sure that they were City Government buildings, but Chinese administrative buildings have a very distinct quality that you can recognise them.  Like when a girl stands on the side of the street you always know she is a prostitute.  At this time I said to my friend, who have these buildings been auctioned to?  My friend said one word; fart.

At the time of the 2008 earthquake of Wenchuan, the Chengdu Government proclaimed that the newly established Government buildings would be auctioned, with all the proceeds being put towards the recovery process in the disaster area, and this news had evoked a great level of interest and good feeling in the people.  I am a very naïve person, I thought this type of situation and this type of talk was genuine.  At that time I thought there must be a hundred large corporations that would purchase the buildings, to base their headquarters there, not only for the convenient traffic links, but also because if there were another earthquake they would certainly not collapse.  My friend said that the Government had already secretly snuck in.

Han Han wishing he wrote for a blog with film reviews based on trailers

Consequently I wanted to ask in the second issue of 独唱团 (Han Han’s magazine, Party, which seems to have folded after one issue) what the true reason was for the failure to auction the Government buildings, hoping to find a clear answer.  But in order to save the environment I will post it here.  Thanks go to student Cai Lei (蔡蕾) for his help.

I truly feel that if they wished to occupy the building they just should have. But to claim to donate more than 20亿* of Government building, but then only to contribute one piece of seemingly positive news is totally unfair.

At this point Han Han posts his article intended for独唱团

问知情人

At the time of the 2008 Wenchuan earthquake, the Chengdu government said that it would put to auction its brand new buildings, with the proceeds going towards the disaster relief.  I wanted to know what had happened to the buildings – how much money had been raised?

The Chengdu journalist Zheng Mou (郑某) answered not one wisp of cloud.

The construction of the Chengdu administration’s new headquarters began in 2004, and was completed in 2007, occupying 255 亩**, costing around 12亿元*** (reportedly not including the price of the land), and incorporating a high grade conference centre, visitor centre etc.  Based on pictures leaked on the internet, it has been called ‘China’s most luxurious Government building’.

According to plans, the Chengdu City Committee, the National People’s Congress, City Hall, Municipal Administrations Courts, Prosecutor’s Office, close to 70 departments, would move into the centre in 2008.  However just as the relocation process was commencing, the Wenchuan earthquake struck.  On the 15th of July, a Chengdu City Committee member stated that the new Government building would be auctioned, with all the proceeds given to the disaster relief programme, but this was the last that Chengdu residents would read in the media about the new office building.

Ordinary companies would not be able to afford an office space taking up 255 亩, and ones who could would not be unlikely to deal with such a difficult situation, as the auction was by no means formal and seemed already to have fallen through.  At the current time, Chengdu City government departments have already stealthily occupied the building, while it is clear that the media has been forbidden to report on the Government building and the moving arrangements.

In the last few days I have telephoned the Chengdu administration’s general office, the dialogue was as follows.  Question: ‘When will the entire City Government more into the new building?’ Answer: ‘We are not clear about this’.  Response: ‘After the earthquake wasn’t the building to be sold, what’s up with that?’ Response: ‘Who are you? Why are you asking this?’ I respond: ‘I am an ordinary citizen, I want to understand the state of affairs’.  Response:  ‘We are not too clear’.  Question: ‘So who is clear?  I ought to speak with that department?’ Respons: I don’t know. (Phone hangs up).

Soon after I dial the Mayor’s hotline, 12345.  After hearing the call back tone, the phone informs me ‘the line you have called is busy’.  I called again in the morning, afternoon and at night, and everytime ‘the line you have called is busy’.   I also sent SMS messages to the Mayor’s inquiry mailbox, and at the time of writing have yet to receive a response.

* what? um think that’s 20 x 100 million rmb, so maybe £20,000,000,000

** mu! Unit of area equal to one fifteenth of a hectare.  So 38250000 square metres.

*** £12,000,000,000

At this point 6327 of the readers post their comments.

So does he deserve to hold onto his crown as blogger #1?  One comment would make me happy.  And not on the mistakes in my translation!

More thrilling yarns are available at http://blog.sina.com.cn/twocold

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伦敦没有 #1: Street sweet potatoes

In this new feature we ask why good and simple Chinese things that should be available in London are not available in London.

1. 烤红薯 Baked Sweet Potato

(Definately should be) coming soon to a street corner near you!

Sold by a man, on a street corner, by weight, from a steaming barrell,  this delicious treat requires no additions and can definately keep you filled up til tea.  Selling for about 50p on dusty roadsides in cities Chinawide, I see no reason why these should not be a common sight on London’s streets throughout the 2011/12 winter. RRP £2.

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Filed under Food, 伦敦没有

Hu says replacing the dollar might be a ‘fairly long process’ (?)

The Chinese Politburo leaders hate to miss a chance to flex their financial muscle with grand and threatening statements during state visits.  Ahead of his trip to Washington President Hu has spoken of the steps being taken towards replacing the dollar with the yuan as the major reserve currency.  Following November’s Sino-Russian agreement to conduct trade in their own currencies, the US’s privileged status as manufacturer of the global currency must be under at least some level of threat.

A vendor in Washington prepares for the upcoming change in the international currency system

However people cleverer than me have argued that while not unforseeable, the radical overhaul of trade or investment policy  required to allow the world to accumulate enough RMB might prove damaging to the Chinese economy.  This may therefore be yet further proof of the existence of a special Chinese government department, tasked with formulating statements to court controversy and belittle foreign dignitaries wherever possible (see Hu’s recent comments on youth and energy of current British government). Clearly this is fun and can only be encouraged.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-12203391

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Tabloid press in adorable Giant Panda backlash

Ok so they are expensive as well as cute, and they also do little for their own survival chances by refusing to mate or eat anything but one small part of bamboo plants.  But given that this loan of Tian Tian and Yuangguang to Edinburgh Zoo  took 5 years to negotiate I’m sure we could just be a little bit pleased about it!

Working hard - Giant Panda earning its keep in Chengdu

The sun asks ‘Who’s going to bear* the cost?’

http://www.thesun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/3353336/Panda-cash-appeal.html

*pun as yet unconfirmed

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