Time Out offer a good guide on where to get a decent bubble tea. I think I might have to compare them all myself to make sure they were telling truths…
Time Out offer a good guide on where to get a decent bubble tea. I think I might have to compare them all myself to make sure they were telling truths…
Filed under Uncategorized
Excessive use of growth accelerator Forchlorfenuron has caused watermelons to explode like landmines in Danyang near Nanjing. Pan Jing of Greenpeace said farmers depended on fertilisers because many doubled as migrant workers and had less time for their crops.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/17/exploding-watermelons-chinese-farming
Fruit is not always good for you
According to research published in 2001, 3.4 per cent of injuries requiring surgery in the Solomon Islands were coconut-palm related. Only 16 per cent of these were people hit by falling coconuts. The rest were people falling from trees.
Filed under comedy, environment, Food
Bob Dylan, who rarely speaks out against human rights abuses, failed to speak out against the imprisonment of human rights activist Ai Weiwei while on his recent tour of China.
Filed under Music
China bans time travel for television – Business 360 – CNN.com Blogs.
As part of the cultural crackdown in China, State Administration of Radio Film and Television (SARFT) has decided to discourage plots using time travel or other surreal devices in its TV shows.
According to CNN: they are discouraging plot lines that contain elements of “fantasy, time-travel, random compilations of mythical stories, bizarre plots, absurd techniques, even propagating feudal superstitions, fatalism and reincarnation, ambiguous moral lessons, and a lack of positive thinking.”
If you have ever watched a Chinese epic drama you may be perplexed how they are going to do this. The Chinese classic ‘Journey to the West’ centers around a Monkey born out of a stone egg who eats a magic peach and then gains immortal powers. His powers include the ability to pluck hairs from his body, blow on them and convert them into whatever he wants.
Surreal?
I remain naively hopeful that the SARFT regulations are more of an attempt to stamp out lazy writing devices
Filed under comedy, Film, Propaganda, TV, Video

Chinese Party Officials try to recreate a seen from Darren Aronofsky’s Oscar Winning Black Swan
The Officials photographed are decked up in environmentally friendly clothing to promote a ‘low carbon lifestyle’. The event was held at a Beijing CPPCC annual gala on the evening of January 18. I am not really sure what else to say.
Filed under Art, comedy, environment, Fashion, Film, Propaganda
Latest reports suggest Beijing and Shanghai will be confused by Bob Dylan in April 2011.
The ministry said in a brief statement that Dylan – the writer of some of rock’s most iconic and politically charged songs – must perform “strictly according to an approved program”.
I assume this means no 80s material etc etc.
Filed under Music
So to those of you who don’t know. There is a hell a lot of internet slang in China.
Perhaps the best known is that of the ‘Grass Mud Horse who lives in the Ma Le Desert who fight the evil river crabs’

This is all old news for those in the china blogosphere but as brushduck is a spring chicken – it is still a breaking story.
To those of you who don’t get chinese puns – the above fun sounding animal story is in fact Chinese internet language telling the internet censors of China to fuck off.
草泥马 Cao ni ma (grass mud horse) sounds a lot like 操你媽 Cao ni ma (fuck your mum)
The river crab (河蟹, héxiè) symbolises official censorship, as its pronunciation resembles the word for “harmony” (和谐, héxié). Obviously the grass mud horse lives in the ‘Grass mud horse Mahler Gobi desert’ (or fuck your mother’s cunt) cǎo ní mǎ Gēbì (草泥马戈壁).
There have been lots of academic attempts to explain this as the underground Chinese internet revolution that will eventually topple China, but it is a bit more of a ‘cat and mouse’ game that goes on with Chinese censorship in all forms. More to come on that later. Chinese culture is ripe with satire and sly attacks on the ruling elite, but the imagery and form of the critique is often more subtle and colourful.
The grass mud horse is not particularly subtle but it is pretty funny. Please enjoy the videos below. One is an explanation of the linguistics for non Chinese speakers. The second is a children’s version of the song and the last is a rap (my favourite).
Filed under Uncategorized
Journalists love a good protest. Even when they don’t happen. Recently they have been at the front line of the middle east protests, they were in the thick of the student protests and they seem to play a bizarre role in the way movements develop. Protestors get excited by the presence of cameras (as do most of the general public) and often become wilder and more provocative in the knowledge that they have a wider audience. In the age of rolling 24 hour news we can also expect news crews to hover about near the more extreme ends of a protest trying to capture something juicy for their viewers. Indeed I was present at last years student protest in London and at the ‘fire extinguisher’ incident at Millbank. This utterly stupid incident, the poking of Camilla and other acts of vandalism were repeatedly shown on the news and coverage was dominated by these isolated events rather than the fact that tens of thousands of protestors were pleading with their government to think twice about their rash policy decisions on education for future generations.
I am not naively suggesting that news broadcasts should avoid these events (that would be dull), merely they should try to present them in a balanced way. Having said this, I believe that the existence of live news streams has created compulsive viewing. I now watch news to see what might happen as opposed to seeing what has happened. It is a bit like staying up til 3 in the morning watching Big Brother to see if Chantelle and Wizzo fondle each other in the outhouse jacuzzi (I made those names up as I haven’t watched it for years). But the idea of news before it has happened isn’t actually news and shouldn’t really be broadcast on a news channel.
I have watched live coverage over the last few weeks of protests in Tunisia, Egypt and Libya and I have clearly tuned in at all the wrong moments. Far from the highlights package of the days events that you get in the 10 O clock news – I seemed to tune at the more mundane moments – a few people were standing near a camel, a man smoking a cigarette, a white man in flannel trousers. Maybe this is bad timing on my behalf, or maybe I should just wait (like we used to) for things to actually happen and for journalists to provide an insightful report after the incident has occurred.
I do not wish to downplay the role of the journalist or broadcast media in protest. They often play a vital role. In the protests in Tiananmen Square in 1989 the foreign media acted as a catalyst for the escalating protests and gave protestors an international platform on which to voice their concerns. The foreign press had all arrived in Beijing to cover the Soviet presidents Mikhail Gorbachev’s state visit. The presence of the foreign media encouraged the protestors to play up to the cameras and capture the attention of their world audience. The media savvy students created huge embarrassment for the government by writing banners in English and creating symbols that an international audience would instantly recognise such as the Goddess of Democracy. The Tiananmen Square protest was huge and involved students, writers, some Communist Party moderates such as Zhao Ziyang and most importantly workers. It has been argued that the workers joining the movement was a crucial factor in bringing about the government’s violent reaction.
This is why I believe that the protest movement in the middle east will not spread to China. Both the people protesting and the situations are different. As well as demanding political reform, many of the protests in the Arab world have centred on job creation and anger at long term unemployment. The Chinese government does have cause for concern over rising inflation, however, it does not have the same stagnant unemployment seen in Egypt, Tunisia and Libya. The media nonetheless, seems convinced that protest will spread to China. With their cameras poised, they waited this weekend on Wangfujing street, one of Beijing’s major shopping thoroughfares to report on the rumoured “Jasmine Revolution.” ‘Protests’ also apparently occured in other cities in China. the Guardian reported that:
‘Shanghai police used whistles to disperse a crowd of around 200, although it was unclear if the people were anything more than onlookers. It said officers detained at least four Chinese citizens in the city and two others in Beijing. It was not clear, however, if those detained had tried to protest’

photo of entirely different protest unrelated to this article (standard practice -see below)
This is hardly ground shaking stuff. The protests that didn’t happen(?) were reported/initiated by US based blog Boxun who claim that their site has been under cyber attack in the last week. Their website contains a series of youtube clips of people standing around and staring at police and military cordoned off areas. It is not really clear if any protest actually took place. The protests were meant to be a response to the state’s increased suppression of human rights activists and bloggers who have been suppressed. The telegraph are also reporting on the “Jasmine revolution” in Beijing, although their leading photo is bizarrely one from Taiwan. They state that crowds of people were dispersed by street cleaning vehicles and that reporters from the BBC were ‘bundled into a van by police’. I guess we can assume that we wont be getting any rolling news pieces then? The telegraph’s photo is not the only example of deceptive photos. Anti CNN suggest that a number of news organisations have been ‘borrowing’ photos from other protests and claiming that they are part of the ‘Jasmine Revolution.’
The heightened police and military presence could indicate a growing fear amongst government officials, or it could not. Journalists in China, both domestic and foreign have always had limited access and the government are particularly sensitive if a journalist even catches a whiff of unrest. Excessive human rights abuses by the Chinese government are reported in foreign media but often this leads to Chinese accusations that the foreign press only focus on the negatives in China: a sort of nationalist self-defence mechanism. Heavy military and police presence on the streets of the capital do not indicate that there is growing unrest. It may just be a flex of muscle to show that a ‘blog uprising’ does not scare it.
Either way it is certain that ‘protests’ are a hot ‘trending topic’ at the moment so even protests that don’t happen are going to get serious news coverage.
Filed under Blogs, Jasmine Revolution, News, Propaganda, protest, Uncategorized, Wangfujing
Old news, Beijing artist, dissident and ex-studio owner Ai Weiwei has loaded the Turbine Hall at the Tate Modern with 100,000,000 individually handmade porcelain replica sunflower seeds. Though billed as a sensory and immersive installation, you are sadly no longer permitted to walk accross the seeds. I suspect this is becuase people couldn’t resist the temptation to pinch one as a souvenier. I was disappointed, as I had been hoping to pinch one as a souvenier. This decision was made on October 16th last year, making this old news too.
Sunflower Seeds is at the Turbine Hall untill 2 May.
http://www.tate.org.uk/modern/exhibitions/unileverseries2010/default.shtm
Filed under Art
There are now over 1 million Chinese people living and working in Africa. Some of the development they are doing is undoubtedly bringing economic prosperity to the region. But at what cost?
Continuiung the theme of the Chinese in Africa. Watch this interesting programme from the BBC:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00ykxg9/The_Chinese_Are_Coming_Episode_1/

I do love the amount of effort and media attention that is paid to China but it does get a bit tiresome when they constantly ponder whether China will take over the world (again).
I am off to get a job on a Chinese ship…or in an African mall.
Filed under Africa, environment, News