Anonymous stories of children denouncing their parents as counterrevolutionaries are often used to illustrate the all-pervasive horrors of the Cultural Revolution. However, it is a brave move for this man to talk openly about his regrets over his actions forty-three years on.
According to state sources a flock of more than 2,800 flying pigs decided to go for a swim in the Huangpu river. “Unfortunately the pigs’ ability to fly”, stated Lai Lai a government official, “is better than their swimming”. The carcasses were found floating in the river creating a foul stench that has made many reporting the story sick in their own mouths.
Official sources have strenuously denied any suggestion of government environmental policy being to blame. ‘Its just one of things. Pig’s like to swim’ said Po Ki Pai, environmental liaison officer for Shanghai.
The Jiaxing Daily newspaper in northern Zhejiang province quoted a villager as saying that over the past two months almost 20,000 pigs in his village have died of unknown causes. While Shanghai compensates its farmers for properly disposing of dead swine, the newspaper said, Zhejiang and Jiangsu provinces lack a comparable incentive system, so farmers there often dump their pig carcasses directly into local rivers.
We’ve all tried a nifty shortcut on the way home when sozzled. But when rolling back from his village local in rural Zhejiang in the early hours of Thursday morning, I’m sure this man didn’t expect his ambitious diversion would end up being splashed across the UK’s finest (Sun, Daily Mail).
The unfortunate man had to wait til morning to be rescued when the owner of one of the walls (pictured on the left) allowed the fire department to knock through it.
Often seen as the world’s biggest goody goody, the Dalai Lama has been accused by chairman of the Tibet Autonomous Region People’s Congress (TAR) Chadma Poling of paying Tibetans in areas of Sichuan, Gansu and Qinghai in China’s south-west to set themselves on fire to stick it to the Chinese government. While Brushduck has no proof of the truth or otherwise of the these allegations, Chadma Poling has! But he says that disclosure is not convenient.
Artist’s reconstruction – seems unlikely?
Further, the state-run Chinese website China Tibet Online revealed last week that Lhamo Kyab, referred to as a senior member of the “Dalai Lama clique’s education system”, has authored a “Self-immolation Guide” which aims to aims to “standardize and systematize the self-immolation behavior so as to manipulate it like an assembly line in the future”, in order to promote the Dalai Lama goals, which it says include protest against Chinese rule.
The Tibetan government-in-exile in Dharamsala has, unsurprisingly, distanced itself from both Lhamo Kyab and his guide. However, the Dalia Lama has been criticised in the past for failing to denounce incidents of self-immolation.
The tragedy remains that since 27 February 2009, when a young Tibetan monk called Tapey attempted self-immolation in a marketplace in Sichuan, it is estimated that 78 Tibetans have burned themselves to death on account of their discontent with Chinese rule. The frequency of incidents peaked between March 2011 and March 2012, following the death of Phuntsog, again in Sichuan.
With the exciting news that David Beckham has been named as the first global ambassador for Chinese football, Brushduck presents a quick, and sometimes accurate, guide to the essential lingo for those tracking Becks in his new and exerting role tackling corruption in the Chinese Super League (CSL):
WATCHING YOU: “Riches and honor depend on heaven”
大卫·贝克汉姆 (Dàwèi Bèikèhànmǔ): David Beckham
小贝 (Xiǎo Bèi): Becks
金球 (Jīn qiú): Golden Balls
维多利亚·贝克汉姆 (Wéiduōlìyà Bèikèhànmǔ): Victoria Beckham
高贵辣妹 (Gāoguì Làmèi): Posh Spice
像贝克汉姆一样香蕉射球 (Xiàng Bèikèhànmǔ yīyàng xiāngjiāo shèqiú): Bend it like Beckham
D-Beck’s aptitude for foreign languages is well known – see below, for example, his final press conference in Spanish in 2007 following 4 years spent with La Liga giants Real Madrid. We hope the England legend is currently perfecting his tones ahead of his head first dive into the murky underworld of Chinese football. “I got the ball ref!”
Have we missed any essential Becks vocab? Comments welcome below!
The People’s Daily, once referred to as the codpiece (sorry mouthpiece) of the Chinese Communist Party has reported an article in the satirical website the Onion as fact.
The Onion declared Kim Jong Un, or Lil Kim as he is affectionately known as ‘the Sexiest Man Alive in 2012’
The Onion reported:
With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Kim made this newspaper’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile,” it said.
“He has that rare ability to somehow be completely adorable and completely macho at the same time,” said Marissa Blake-Zweiber, editor of The Onion Style and Entertainment.
The fact that the People’s Daily are even bothering to report this sort of tripe, would make Mao turn over in his Maoseleum. In the 1950s TV and radio were known as the ‘throat and tongue’ (houshe 喉舌) of the Chinese Communist Party and they played a key role in disseminating Party policy and propaganda to the far reaching corners of China. In 2012, it seems they are scouring the internet for titbits desperate to gain a market share.
Since the breaking news appeared on BrushduckXi’an Up Close that a mystery mushroom had been discovered in Xi’an, it seems that the fungus has become the must have commodity on account of its amazing medicinal properties.
Rare specimens have been illicitly traded on the streets:
And recipes to bring out the best of the elusive mycetoza’s special qualities have appeared online:
Predicting a 21st century gold rush I’m off to Shaanxi province to see if I can’t grab a few. These will be available for £199.99/kg on return, cheques to Brushduck.