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World’s most popular beer? Want to pee on a turtle?

Any idea what the most popular beer in the world is?

Sitting back with your friends enjoying a bud? Waaazzzzup?

enjoy drinking what is probably the best lager?

Would you give a XXXX for it? Best things come to those who wait?

No. The world’s most popular beer is Snow Beer (雪花啤酒)

According to the Telegraph, the Chinese drank 16.5bn pints of Snow last year.

Although most Chinese beers taste quite samey (think of a watered down bud light), I happen to think Snow actually tastes quite nice with a spicy meal. It is pretty inoffensive. At least I thought they were until I saw their latest marketing campaign…..

Snow beer are offering several lucky punters the chance to go to Kekexili – the Tibetan plateau. Here the fortunate winners can trod around on environmentally protected ground pissing off endangered species such as the Tibetan antelope . According to Jonathan Watts’ article in the Guardian, the plateau is “China’s most treasured nature reserve’ and has a ‘No Human Zone’, which as the name implies, is not supposed to be visited by anyone, yet Snow have gone ahead with their promotion even before they have permission.”

It would be as if Fosters offered their punters the chance for a lads holiday to the Galapagos islands to go and drink some brews, piss on a turtle’s face and eat its eggs in a giant fry up.

I should stop now, I don’t want to give them any ideas for competitions.

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Filed under Advertising, Animal, Beer, comedy, environment, Film, News, Tibet

That Ai Wei Wei controversial review of Beijing in full.

So you want to know what its like being in a Chinese state prison? It is a bit like the Kafka-esque nightmare of trying to get a westbound cab on a street that only goes east. I tried to make Beijing my home. Built a nest.

But a bird like me needs a solid tree for my nest. Beijing is a withering polluted willow tree. Having said that, there are some great places to go for cocktails.

If you want a cheap and cheerful night in Beijing. Mix and Vics are a safe bet. Blu bar is pretty cool.

Lychee Martinis are excellent in Beijing. It is really hard to get a cab sometimes. In summer Beijing gets super stuffy. Aircon is a must.

Apartments are getting more and more expensive. You can pay a fortune in Chaoyang for a room that is barely the size of a cell. (I should know). The apple store can get really busy sometimes. er. Am I allowed to say that?

Love Ai WeiWei


Crowds at the Apple Store Beijing

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Filed under Art, comedy, News, Politics, protest

David Ovulation Test

Late?

Had unprotected sex?

Have no fear and let the David Ovulation Test allay your fears.

 

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Filed under comedy, Health

Panda Dogs

Apparently the latest craze in China is to make your dog look like a Panda.

I really feel like I should be condemning this sort of behaviour, but I think if someone offered me a panda dog I would probably take it.

For those of you that don’t know,

Differences between a panda and a dog:

Dogs crap everywhere and have a massive sex drive. Pandas eat bamboo.

Here are some panda dogs being exhibited:

The mail also write about the wild tiger dog too:

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Filed under Blogs, comedy, Panda, Science

What do you get if you cross an Australian with the Dalai Lama?

If you are going to try your new gag material out on someone, why not try it on the spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism?

One plucky Australian journalist thought he would try his joke out on live TV on his Holiness the Dalai Lama.

You have to give him some credit for giving it a go. Apparently his network have canceled his upcoming interviews with the Pope, an Irishman and the Virgin Mary.

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Filed under comedy, News, TV, Video

Henry Kissinger’s “On China”

Review: Henry Kissinger’s “On China” | ChinaGeeks | analysis and translation of modern China.

 

China Geeks review Kissinger’s new book ‘On China’. I think it is about China… need to pick up a copy to find out.

 

 

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Filed under Politics

How to imitate the “Four Wangs”

I just went to see Xu Bing‘s (徐冰) excellent installation at the British Museum.

Xu Bing is a contemporary Chinese artist and has been described as a member of the Chinese avant garde movement. The installation in the British Museum is an innovative “shadow painting” copy of a Wang Shimin 王時敏 piece from 1641.

 

Wang was one of the “four Wangs”, who make up four of the Six Masters of the early Qing period (清六家) : Yun Shouping, Wu Li and the Four Wangs: Wang Shimin, Wang Jian, Wang Yuanqi and Wang Hui.

In the installation Xu Bing uses discarded leaves (from Kew Gardens), old newspapers and twigs to create a shadow image of a classic Chinese landscape (山水).

Xu Bing is famous for much of his work playing with language, including a book with over 4000 different characters which are entirely original and of his own making.

He has also invented ‘New English Calligraphy’ in which he makes English look like Chinese:

Here he has written the nursery rhyme Jack and Jill: look carefully and you can read it!

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after

 

The installation is on at the British Museum until July 10th

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Filed under Art

Arsenal hope to end trophy drought in China

As loathed as I am to put anything Arsenal related on this site… This video is actually quite funny.

Arsenal will be playing Hangzhou Greentown on July 16th (Go Hangzhou!)

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Filed under comedy, Football, Sport

Wen Jiabao nailing a lay up

Watch: Wen Jiabao hoops it up for Children’s Day celebrations – Shanghaiist.

There is a disturbing trend of politicians getting their hands dirty and posing for the cameras none more than when it comes to sport. Here is Premier Wen showing us his hoop dreams:

This week Camron (as he now likes to be called) and O’bama posed like the best mates they are, playing ping pong in an attempt to show their solidarity in an attempt to say to the Chinese “we can play ping pong too”.

 

 

 

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Filed under comedy, News, Sport

9 out of 10 bees prefer men

According to a new survey carried out in China.

Heaviest bee suit world record – in pictures | World news | guardian.co.uk.

In true western reporting of China. Another wacky story.

To the undiscerning reader it might appear that China only has two types of stories: Human Rights abuses or men covering themselves in bees. Perhaps this is a mixture of the two stories. . . .

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Filed under Uncategorized